The Holidays. A smorgasbord of festivities all rolled into two convenient words. What do they all have in common? The fact that you must go hang out with some form of “family”. Whether it’s your racist uncle, the topic of politics, that crazy aunt of yours or the fact that you have to continue to explain that you’re single because you want to be, OKAY NANA!?… you need to pretend like everything is fine and that you’re enjoying yourself. While I can’t help everyone see eye to eye on things, I can help numb the pain.
Instead of swallowing your pride, swallow some high ABV beer. Not only can you say, “I’ve only had one beer”, but you can also be in a blissful state of mind, oblivious to the conversation at hand, thinking that the topic of discussion is a hilarious hallucination or grab life by the horns and muster up the huevos to say what you’re really thinking.
Regardless of how you handle these awkwardly fun situations, know that I nor the fine folks here at Top Ten Liquors can be held responsible for your actions once you’ve had your “one beer”, but go ahead, enjoy yourself and please dish about how “fun” your family time was!
And Now, the Brews
|Evil Twin | Molotov Cocktail | Imperial IPA|
|This. This is the beer that you need in your life to drown out the noise of your mom and her sisters, talking about 10 decibels over their appropriate outdoor voices, even though they are in the dining room, not five feet away from one another. The nose is full of citrus and tropical fruits – orange, mango and grapefruit mixed in with hints of that sticky resinous hops character that we all love in IPAs. The taste is very similar with the orange, grapefruit and some clementine added to some delicious mango, malty goodness and that good ole hidden 13% alcohol. It’s blended together masterfully. This will muffle any chatter coming from the room next door!|
|4pk btl | 13% ABV | 80 IBUs|
|Lift Bridge | Commander | Barley Wine Ale|
|The local hero to save you from the despair of a family gathering. The bourbon barrel aged Barley Wine Ale has a fantastic nose that boasts of bourbon, alcohol, cherry and vanilla. It’s tough not to go too crazy on this one. Once it hits the buds, you get some big malt flavors that are followed by maple, vanilla, BOOZE and some good rich chocolate. Feel free to share this with your favorite cousin/uncle/aunt/grandma so you can both enjoy the sinking of the titanic, that is your family, together. If you think you can handle your family without a little liquid courage, you’ll be happy to know that this beer will last for at least 4 years. Save it for the following years when you feel your moral high ground has been defeated.|
|22oz | 12.5% ABV | N/A IBUs|
|Avery Brewing | 2016 Samael | Oak-Aged Strong Ale|
|The prince of demons, the angel of death, accuser and destroyer. No, I am not talking about anyone in your family, I am speaking of Samael, the angel(?) this venom that we consider a beer is named after. The aromas bring whiffs of alcohol, but it is melded with the sweet smells of raisin, toffee brown sugar, oak and vanilla. The flavors seem to match perfectly with the toffee and the brown sugar with additional flavors of caramel, raisins, vanilla and a backbone of oak. This beer is hot with the booze at a staggering 17.4% ABV. It will for sure put you in your happy place, a beach, alone, away from those you call your “family”. Are you sure you’re not adopted? Remember, only 5 more hours and then you won’t have to see them for another 364 more days if you’re lucky.|
|12oz btl | 17.4% ABV | 40 IBUs|